Manipal....the world I belong to...now.Time and again when I talk to people from the world I used to belong to.....they will be asking the same question.....do you like it there?Are you happy there?And I say,"Yes.Of course!The food is great,the hostels are good,teachers are fine....what more would I want?"
Even sometimes when I think,this seems a very logical answer to give...I have everything I want,so why would I not be happy?But at the end of the day,if I want to do justice to myself....I ask do I really want to be here?And then,I cannot fool myself anymore.
I belong to a world that has more bimbettes than girls,a world which has more shallowness than depth,a world which is more pretty than it is beautiful.All this time,throughout my modest upbringing,I have come to respect,to love people for what they are,to stand by some values,some virtues,"behenji" as I may be called.But isnt "behenji" better than a cupboard full of brands and an empty conscience?Is it not better than judging people by their monthly exenditure rather than their concern for you....but again,concern is "nagging"!
Till now I have lived a life behind closed doors...and the windows have never been enough to experience the wide horizon....now,standing in an open field full of plastic blossoms...my heart aches for that natural drifting fragrance....it was not enough then,but it is all I want now.
Difficult,considering,that the world doesnt go round the way I want it to!But I will keep trying.....trying my best to be the person I believe I should be....till the day those same people get a new person to emulate....ME.
Even sometimes when I think,this seems a very logical answer to give...I have everything I want,so why would I not be happy?But at the end of the day,if I want to do justice to myself....I ask do I really want to be here?And then,I cannot fool myself anymore.
I belong to a world that has more bimbettes than girls,a world which has more shallowness than depth,a world which is more pretty than it is beautiful.All this time,throughout my modest upbringing,I have come to respect,to love people for what they are,to stand by some values,some virtues,"behenji" as I may be called.But isnt "behenji" better than a cupboard full of brands and an empty conscience?Is it not better than judging people by their monthly exenditure rather than their concern for you....but again,concern is "nagging"!
Till now I have lived a life behind closed doors...and the windows have never been enough to experience the wide horizon....now,standing in an open field full of plastic blossoms...my heart aches for that natural drifting fragrance....it was not enough then,but it is all I want now.
Difficult,considering,that the world doesnt go round the way I want it to!But I will keep trying.....trying my best to be the person I believe I should be....till the day those same people get a new person to emulate....ME.
Very Howard Roarkish =)
ReplyDeleteRead ayn rand. She's my god.
hmm...will try to get hold of The Fountainhead as son as I can....
ReplyDeleteMay I just intervene and tell you that the world you lived is the same, but you are now viewing it from a different perspective...Previously you used to feel trapped inside the four corners of your house looking into the world beyond and wondering how it is out there. Now you are in the same place only, you are not facing the world but the girl in the window...I don't consider Manipal a different world as such, neither Pune...yes, they are part of my country...My country is too amazing to be stagnant and hence every 200 miles there is a change in dialect as well as a change in scenery...The bimbetts you keep referencing to are not really a product of Manipal itself but a byproduct of liberalism...And to be frank, I would say you judge them too quickly...You and I share something in common, we are both from a conservative communist mentality which is difficult to shrug off and hence the literalistic side appears as a novel world full of dubious people...Previously we were protected by the hood of our parents and SPHS does have a unique meld of culture...So we never really ventured away from our comfort zone..Yes this new place, not WORLD...does seem alien but that is mainly because it was shaped by other factors throughout its history...I am a proud bengali, but until recently, I let that pride get out of my head...we are Indians after all aren't we...However, I do feel you and reflect the fact that though I know its my country, still I just miss the, how should I say it, the smell of my hometown...mainly because that aroma carries with it the aura of my childhood and my past and that is priceless...
ReplyDeleteAbout the food, your lucky...people here are really big on eating...but I guess that's how they grew...they won great battles but were not really into feasting heavenly...